Hold on, kid, let me lift my robe... [entries|friends|calendar] naziconformist1 [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(5 Succeededs | Take over the world) Would you happen to have a quarter to spare, kind sir? [14 Jun 2004|08:00pm] [ mood | creative ] I saw a homeless man, once. He was pushing his cart along. I stopped and asked him if he had a quarter to spare. He glared at me, before delivering his foot into my genitals. He then smirked and continued pushing his cart down the street. When i regained enough strength to lift myself off the ground, i was compelled to follow the man. But...I didn't. I really couldn't move much. I think the bastard affected my ability to reproduce. I once ate catfood. It tasted like a glorified version of a cracker. After consuming said catfood, i smelled of it all day. I would turn around to find a trial of kitties behind me. I attended a concert once. A "heavy metal" concert, it was. I learned about something called a "mosh pit" I was thrown into it several times, as well as being carried on top of all the loving, good-natured participants, in something called "crowd-surfing" In the aforementioned "crowd surfing" several homosexual individuals molested me, rather vigorously, and in general, took advantage of my impaired state. I was over at my friend Devin's house once, when he offered me brownies filled with special ingredients. I decided to take him up on his offer, seeing as i was hungry. After i consumed 6 of these brownies (yes, i said 6) Devin informed me that they were quite potent and i might find myself waking up in another persons bed, not recalling how i ended up there. I then vomited the brownies, because i was still a virgin, and wanted to remain so, until marriage. Sadly, the effects had already begun taking place. I was a wee bit uncomfortable for the next 24 hours, to say the least. I found a quarter on the ground once. Seeing as how i already had a good amount of money, left over from the prostitution that took place the night before, i offered it to a passing homeless man. He broke into tears and hugged me. I have never felt so special. I watched him walk away, pushing his cart, and carrying his newfound quarter. I then wondered why i had a sudden pain in my genitals. Love Alex (Devin will be along to write again, soon)

(3 Succeededs | Take over the world) "The Wall Incident" oh..and the pigs. Oi. [13 Jun 2004|10:30pm] [ mood | chipper ] Hi. This is my first entry, and being so, i decided to tell you absolutely nothing about myself. Don't try and talk to me, as i probably already hate you. Call me a bastard if you'd like, but i doubt you'd accomplish anything. I walked and old lady acrost the street earlier today. It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling in the depths of my belly...until she bashed me over the head with her pocket book. The wall was red after he ran into it. It gave him much pain, but he didn't know why. After the wall incident, which shall hereby be known as "The Wall Incident" he fell in the pool. No one noticed when he fell. They didn't notice him floating. They didn't notice him stop breathing. They were inside, eating cake and drinking peppermint schnoff's with Sam Cooke. They had a grand time until the pigs escaped the barn. They spat their names out repeatedly, yet the pigs offered no response. They just went about their business. My mum says the pots in the freezer. She keeps mumbling this fraze, as if i know what it means. Crazy, she is. I got a new skateboard today. It's purple and shiney. Says sheep, it does. I'd like to thank the academy, for their kind generousity in setting up this Livejournal. Oh, and Alex..for writing this very entry. I think it's bloody awful, but he said something about the hidden meaning of the words evokes emotion only understood by few. I think he's fucking insane, to be exact. Well i must go tend to the donkies and sheep. And the pigs..they got out while i was eating cake. I heard a splash, but i thought the doggy got into the pool. So i didn't investigate any further. Maybe i should have...? Love Alex

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